I got a message from a person who found it high ly possible the back pain I talked about was indeed imagined. What is more, this person also claimed that my relaxed attitude towards racing and competition comes from the same root. As I have said before on this blog, I’m not a very competition-minded man. I mean, I love to participate in competitions, but whether I finish at the back of the pack or somewhere close to the middle doesn’t bother me at all (or almost never bothers me). I never have any problems sleeping the nigh t before a race, I never have any problems eating, I’m never nervous before a race ... I’m just there to enjoy the occasion without too much attention on the result s. Actually, I most often give up searching before I manage to find my name on the result s lists.
Now, this person I mentioned has found out that this attitude is, in a way, related to my back pain. According to the theory, there comes a time in every race when I know I’m getting tired, but I also know that in order to beat my training buddies I need to push harder and enter a zone of discomfort or downrigh t pain. My subconsciousness desperately wants to avoid that zone, so it creates this back pain to give me an excuse – or force me – to slow down. In the same manner, according to the theory, I enter each race without any pressure or desire to grind out result s, just to save myself from disappointment if I fail to meet my own expectations.
I’m a bit confused here. Part of me wants to acknowledge that this is exactly the case. That same part of me wants to run to the library and borrow every book they have on psychology and try to “cure” myself. Another part of me asks: Is it really so that whoever enters a competition purely to enjoy the occasion, to mingle with other people interested in the same sport, to get a reasonably hard exercise for the body, is simply trying to escape his/her inadequate mentality?
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